The James Bond Series, Ranked
Finally finished reviews of all the Bond films. With that in mind, I offer my humble ranking of the entire series… that is bound to make people pull their hair out. Good luck finding another ranked list that puts A View To A Kill as high as I do.
Interestingly enough, I used these rankings to come up with an average ranking of Bonds.
Lazenby: 6
Craig: 7
Dalton: 8
Connery: 14.4
Brosnan: 17.25
Moore: 17.7
Niven, Sellers, Allen, Andress, et. al.: 27
That… can’t be right, can it? Connery at Number 4? Lazenby at number 1? I gues bowing out after only one outing is finally paying for for the poor bloke.
Lordy: Thoughts on turning forty (and more about 2024)
So, I turned forty this year, and I’m choosing to focus on that for the moment.
I became middle-aged slowly, but I possess very little doubt that I’m there. It looks different than it does for my parent’s generation. My father hit forty and ran for city council; the big 4-0 was looming for me, and I decided to ship off to library school for… reasons…? It looks different for everyone, I suppose.
The first stage was the fact that I’ve had the temperament of a middle-aged man since I was twelve. I was doomed a long time ago.
The second turning point? When Lora and I were having dinner at the Rancher’s Club in Stillwater at some point in the last several years. Our waitress—likely a HRAD student at the university—was making conversation as we were settling up the bill, and asked if we were staying at the on-campus hotel. We were.
“Oh, my parents like to stay here, too,” she said.
Silence filled the meal as we both had to launch into some frantic math to try to prove her wrong, only to come up short.
We still tipped well (because to not do so is sociopathic) but remain shaken to this day.
The third turning point? I don’t know what has changed inside of me or in the world, but by far the most common reaction I have to anything I see online is, “What in the hell am I looking at?” And that’s only occasionally when I’m looking at TikTok.
I don’t mean to lament getting older. I’m kind of enjoying it on some level. The few times in my twenties I behaved like I was in my twenties were the least enjoyable of that decade. And it turns out that my thirties were dominated by Donald Trump. Can’t say that I enjoyed that all that much…
Ahem.
I feel less of a frantic need to be spinning as many plates as possible. The world might be on fire, and the things larger than life are obstinately staying in the horrifying mode, but I can still find some peace in life. I’ve got a great marriage when I can kind of see that a lot of people don’t quite crack the code on that one. I’ve got a job that has yet to break me, despite their woefully inadequate best efforts. I have outlets that get me out of bed in the morning. I am content to sit with Lora and watch movies, putter away at my typewriter and fountain pen, record podcasts, and help out where I can, all the while hoping that the next leap will be the leap home.
Ahem.
I may have lost the thread on that one.
As with pretty much all of the years in this decade, I’m happy to report that I had a good handle on any of those things in life that can reasonably be under my control. The things outside of my control I am only prepared to give the attention it needs, but no more. Important to avoid sticking one’s head in the sand. You might think I’m landing on the wrong end of that divide, but if you remember from earlier, I’m an old man now, and I can do what I want. I guess.
Finished the aforementioned grad school, and while it may not fuel the sweeping changes to my career I might have hoped, going, graduating, and doing it right exercised more than a few demons from previous misadventures. If I ever again have that stress dream where it is finals week and I didn’t know I was signed up for a class, then I might feel differently about the whole ordeal.
Although I might have once white-knuckled my way through two years of co-hosting Beyond the Cabin in the Woods, I just finished a third season with those ghouls, and can’t imagine giving it up now. The Holodeck is Broken aired its 100th episode and rapidly approaches stuff that first aired when we started making the show. Lora and I occasionally brainstorm ideas for a The West Wing re-watch podcast. We may need that in the coming year.
I keep helping out with Circle Cinema, and I really like it. With the strikes of 2023 back far enough in the rearview mirror, I only hope that 2025 leads to more things with a place of which I have become very fond. Between the larger world and festival screeners, I’ve managed to watch over 300 movies this year, and that doesn’t even begin to cover the films on regular rotation. I may yet try to track just how many films I watch next year in total, although I may drop that by March as it will just horrify (or perhaps delight) me too much.
Here are my top five new movies of the year:
Code 3 (You’ll hear more about this one in the new year; take it from your Uncle Mac, this one is legit)
For this being the last year that I took something of a sabbatical from the writing career, I also somehow managed to write more than I have in any previous year, with 292,061 words put down. Some of those words will disappear into the aether of grad school Discord posts, but some might not. Since graduation, I’m now back on a regular writing schedule and may have some stuff to show you in that arena in the new year.
As always, here’s my reading list for the year. There may have been a few more graphic novels than I might have otherwise liked, but I did make my goal, and you can’t tell me otherwise. As in years past, audiobooks or those books Lora read to me are marked with “(a)” and graphic novels are marked with “(c)”.
Young Adult Literature In Action
MCU: The Reign of Marvel Studios (a)
Universal Monsters: Dracula (c)
John Adams (a)
Go: A Kidd’s Guide to Graphic Design
Vincent and Theo (a)
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
Bone Gap (a)
Dune
Starter Villain (a)
Star Trek Picard’s Academy (c)
The Time Machine
The Sun is Also a Star (a)
Franny and Zooey
Better Living Through Criticism (a)
They Called Us Enemy (c)
Legends of the Ferengi
Indiana Jones Omnibus, Vol. 1 (c)
Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson
Superman 78 - The Metal Curtain (c)
Becoming Batman (a)
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
The Dead Zone (m)
I am the Cheese (a)
Quiver (c)
Superman: Funeral For a Friend (c)
The Nineties (a)
Apollo 13 (a)
The Bat-Man: First Knight (c)
Sounds of Violence (c)
The Killer’s Shadow (a)
Reign of the Supermen (c)
Nothing Lasts Forever
Autobiography of Mr. Spock
Doctor Who - Origins (c)
The Time Machine Did It
The Sun Also Rises
The Creature of the Black Lagoon Lives (c)
Kubrick: An Odyssey (a)
Moby Dick (CI) (c)
Blood, Sweat, and Chrome (a)
Without a Doubt (a)
A Mystery of Mysteries (a)
Hamlet (CI) (c)
The Art of Power (a)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
2061: Odyssey Three (a)
The Three Jokers (c)
Making it So (a)
The Kid Stays in the Picture (a)
Justice League vs. Godzilla vs. Kong (c)
The Truths We Hold (a)
Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? (c)
Elon Musk
Michael Curtiz: A Life in Pictures (a)
Ghostbusters Vol. 1 (c)
Glory Days (a)
Universal Monsters: Frankenstein (c)
Knights of the Round Table (CI) (c)
Damned (c)
Casino Royale (a)
Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
Escape From New York, Vol. 1 (c)
Escape From New York, Vol. 2 (c)
The Unfinished Haraud Hughes (a)
All Systems Red (a)
Justice, Inc. - Vol. 1 (c)
Based on a True Story - A Memoir (a)
Relativity: The Special and General Theory
Batman: Resurrection
Alternating Current (c)
Mark of the Phantasm (c)
The Shawshank Redemption Revealed (a)
The Autobiography of Benjamin Sisko
Knife (a)
I'd Rather Be At The Movies: 2023 In Review
If you had told me a year ago that the movie I would watch most frequently this year would be White Christmas (1954), I would have said you were crazy, and you would have been, but here we are. That I actually enjoyed it would have been a real I really would have thought that I would have been spending a good part of June on an endless cycle of The Flash, but instead I spent most of that month marveling that the state of Oklahoma has an economy entirely dependent on the energy industry, but still struggle to keep the lights on*.
Now, I could have seen White Christmas a lot more after helping to host nine screenings of the film at Circle Cinema, but that’s been the strange new delight of the year. I’ve not only been spending a lot more time there as my new theater of choice, but I also started volunteering at the theater, and vocationally there may not be a better joy than being an usher. Taking out their trash is a close second. Writing is still up there. And all of it wouldn’t even have occurred to me one year ago.
That’s what I hope for in 2024. That when I come back down to write the next end-of-year blog, the big theme of the year is something that hasn’t even occurred to me yet. I hope that for you as well. Let’s have a year of gently pleasant surprises if we can swing it.
Sure, there are a few stumbling blocks to that one. I have a very particular preference for how the presidential election should go, but there’s not a whole hell of a lot to be done about that from right here and now. Also, also: I’ll be turning 40. Not a lot I can do about that one, either.
Anywho, some stuff from the year: I managed to write 237,461 words. It didn’t feel like I was writing more than last year, but here we are. Once I can get this whole grad school monkey off my back, who knows how much I can get done?
I hesitated to make a top-five movies list last year, but now I feel like some movies need to be defended a little bit. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse sat on the list for a while, I mentioned in my review of the film that I had a hard time not imagining it on the list this year, and even was on the list during the Beyond the Cabin in the Woods end-of-the-year episode, but then number 3 finished the year out strong.
You’ll notice The Flash didn’t make the list and I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I’m just as surprised as you are that Tetris was as good as it was.
Finally, I come to my reading list for the year. Wound up way short of last year’s miracle 100-book run, but I still hit my goal. (a) indicates an audiobook or books Lora might have read to me, because yes it does count, and (c) indicates a graphic novel, because, sure, they count too. Deal with it.
Ego and Other Tails (c)
Jacked (a)
A Beautiful Mind (a)
Batman: The Man Who Laughs (c)
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (a)
Bug Hunt (a)
Emissary - Novelization
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (a)
The Thin Man (a)
Cinema Speculation
The Lego Story (a)
Save the Cat (a)
Life, the Universe, and Everything (a)
Relics
So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish (a)
Interview with the Vampire
Mostly Harmless (a)
Zorro, Year One (c)
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing (a)
The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Vol. 1 (a)
The Illyrian Enigma (c)
Twenty-six Seconds (a)
Good Omens (a)
American Prometheus (a)
The Last Ronin (c)
The Bat-Man of Gotham (c)
The Rise and Fall of Khan Noonien Singh, Vol. 1
Star Trek: Resurgence (c)
The High Country (a)
The Complete Frank Miller Robocop Omnibus (c)
Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Book Store (a)
Flashpoint (c)
Batman 89 (c)
Ayoade on Ayoade (a)
1984
This is a Book
The Death of Superman (c)
On 1984
11-22-63 (a)
Halloween ‘78 (novelization)
A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length
The Last Action Heroes (a)
Essentials of Children’s Literature
The Primate Directive (c)
Avid Reader (a)
The Exorcist
Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper - Case Closed (a)
Rosemary’s Baby
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
Killers of the Flower Moon (a)
The Andromeda Strain (a)
Front Desk
Misery
Mister Orange
The Ocean at the End of the Lane (a)
Knights of the Kitchen Table
The Girl Who Drank The Moon
The Not-So-Jolly Roger
Black Brother, Black Brother
A Stitch in Time (a)
Where The Sidewalk Ends
MMPR, Vol. 1 (c)
Opposable Thumbs (a)
Superman ‘78 Vol. 1 (c)
A Wrinkle in Time (a)
The Wells Bequest (a)
The Invention of Hugo Cabret (a)
Dog Of War (c)
Godshock (c)
The Giggle
Legion (a)
An Unearthly Child
The Monster’s Bones (a)
*Also, Clooney. That footnote can fit almost anywhere in this blog, now that I think about it.
The Year of Three Batmen, Deferred: 2022 in Review
I’d be lying to say this wasn’t a trying year. I could go on and on but let’s just say we finally got COVID after bobbing and weaving for over two years, and then Warner Bros. decided to personally hurt me by canceling Batgirl, all within a couple of weeks. But let’s not dwell on that, if for no other reason than when was the last time any of us had a year that wasn’t trying.
There was good stuff to look to for the year as well. While I’ve spent the last couple of months giving my metabolism a bit of a reset (I’m off my diet, that’s what I’m trying to say), I can still fit into skinny pants, and if that’s not a win, then I don’t know what is. (I may, in fact, not know what winning is.) Burnout hovered over me like a rainstorm over Truman Burbank, but I played through. Grad school proceeds apace, with grades which would leave a younger me thinking I had been replaced by some kind of pod person. I’ve even managed to find a career path amidst this crazy exercise which is more than a little bit impractical, and really the kind of thing I should have been chasing down decades* ago.
Lora, Eris, Z, and I have continued our journey through the final frontier on The Holodeck is Broken, and we’ve even tweaked the format a little bit, so we’re not obligated to do the show for the next eighteen years. Eris and I did a complete run of Friendibals from beginning to end, from one Red Dragon to… the last time they did a version of Red Dragon. And the strangest, most surprising development in the podcast world is that not only after a two-year hiatus did I rejoin Donna and Kenzi on Beyond the Cabin in the Woods, but the show made its new home here on the site.
I published The Once and Future Orson Welles. Which, given the years full of false starts on that one, is a thoroughly weird reality in which to live. I started a new novel, got about 32,000 words into a draft before I realized it was a) boring, b) convoluted, and c) entirely too derivative of The Last Starfighter (1984) for its own good. It was only after I realized that Starfighter thing that I decided to throw in the towel. C’es la vie. I’m now about 9000 words into another novel, and its coming together nicely. Considering how long TOAFOW took, I’d definitely jinx myself if I tried to explain it any further. All in all, I wrote 213,341 words this year, a record to be sure, even if most of those words are destined to wither on the vine of OU’s Canvas servers.
Plus, I spent most of the summer watching old episodes of Siskel & Ebert, and enjoying it far more than I should have had any right to.
I usually hate best-of lists at the end of the year (although watching Gene and Roger duke it out over their annual lists remains a delight), but here are, in no particular order my top five favorite new movies of the year.
Again, in no particular order, save for the fact that EEAAO takes the number one spot. It was hard to whittle it down that far. Admitting that movie like Confess, Fletch or even Halloween Ends weren’t quite top five material. It also ignores the fact that on New Year’s Eve I watched Glass Onion, loved it, and haven’t yet written a review of it. I had half a mind for a moment to rank every new movie I saw this year, but the prospect threatened to bring me to the brink of madness. But, yes Firestarter—for all its improvement over the original—would have been dead last.
And, finally, we come to the books I’ve read this year. I finally did it, getting to 100 books read for the entire year (I got so close in 2021). Yes, some of them (c) are comic books, ahem, graphic novels. Yes, (several) some of them are (a) are audio books, or books Lora read to me. Yes, some (several) of them are based on media franchises with either the word “Star” in them. How I managed to finish the novelizations for both Halloween Kills (2021) and Halloween Ends this year, I’ll never know.
Raise the Dawn
Managerial Leadership for Librarians
Executive Orders (a)
All About Me (a)
Halloween Kills (novelization)
Legends of the Dark Knight Vol. 1 (c)
Superman 78 (c)
All the King's Men (a)
Live and Let Die
The Last Picture Show
The Passage of Power (a)
The Once and Future Orson Welles
Jim Henson - The Biography (a)
Lugosi: The Rise and Fall of Hollywood's Dracula (c)
Silence of the Lambs
Imzadi
Sphere (a)
Revenant (a)
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (a)
Batgirl Vol. 1 The Darkest Reflection (c)
Street Gang (a)
Living Memory (a)
Twice Upon A Time (a)
The Untold Legend of the Batman (c)
The Outsiders
The Path to Power (a)
Macbeth
Hannibal
Moonshot (a)
Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli (a)
2001: A Space Odyssey
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (a)
Brinksmanship
The Dark Side of Genius (a)
The Organization of Information
The Hunger Games (a)
Hocus Pocus (a)
Hannibal Rising
First Blood (a)
Moonraker (a)
Bubba Ho-Tep
Catching Fire (a)
Four Screenplays
Means of Ascent (a)
Diamonds are Forever (a)
Batman: The Golden Age, Vol. 1 (c)
The Catcher in the Rye
2010: Odyssey Two
The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite (c)
The Godfather (a)
Batgirl - Vol. 2 (c)
Life Itself (a)
Dragon's Honor
Batman 1989 Comic Adaptation (c)
Batman Returns (c)
Batman '89 (c)
Uncanny X-Men Masterworks Vol 3 (c)
Mockingjay (a)
From Russia With Love
DS9: Too Long a Sacrifice (c)
Looking for Information
Fundamentals of Collection Development and Management
Your Movie Sucks
Gone With The Wind (a)
Confess, Fletch (a)
FADE IN: The Making of Star Trek Insurrection
Ayoade on Ayoade (a)
Captain Proton: Defender of Earth
Dr. No (a)
Believe Me (a)
The Lost World
A Man on the Moon (a)
Timequake (a)
Second Self (a)
Ready Player One (a)
Directed by James Burrows (a)
Fletch (a)
I Must Say (a)
The Persistence of Memory
Queen of the World (a)
The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History (a)
Star Trek Picard - Stargazer (c)
Tramp: The Life of Charlie Chaplin (a)
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (a)
Octopussy and The Living Daylights (a)
Halloween Ends (novelization)
Post Office (a)
Fan Fiction (a)
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (a)
Embrace Your Weird (a)
Bluebeard (a)
Pinball Wizards
Jaws (a)
Carioca Fletch (a)
Star Trek (09) (novelization) (a)
Nitrate Won’t Wait
Star Trek: Lower Decks (c)
A Long Time Ago, In a Cutting Room Far, Far Away (a)
Introducing RDA - Volume 2
100.Fletch and the Man Who (a)
I guess that’s objectively not a bad year, despite any setbacks. I suppose if we can get only one film next year in which Michael Keaton is Batman, I’d be willing to dare thinking this decade isn’t a complete lost cause. I was promised at least three Batmen this year, and instead only got one for my troubles.
* I disappeared into a column of dust a la Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) typing that particular word.
Movie Reviews through 06/15/22
Whew. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these updates. Grad school. Novel publishings. Novel startings. It’s a big world out there, and so I offer this, the special post celebrating Party Now, Apocalypse Later Industries’ 20th birthday (see the above picture, and the review at the bottom of the list).
But let’s not dwell on it all. Live the Party Now, Apocalypse Later spirit and go out and make something fun for everybody else. I’ll wait right here.
Monsieur Verdoux (1947)
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020)
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Fletch (1985)
The French Dispatch (2021)
The Muppet Movie (1979)
The Great Muppet Caper (1981)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Labyrinth (1986)
The Batman (2022)
Bond: You Only Live Twice (1967)
Scream 2 (1997)
Scream 3 (2000)
Scream 4 (2011)
Scream (2022)
Red Dragon (2002)
Firestarter (1984)
The Night House (2021)
Thelma & Louise (1991)
Last Night in Soho (2021)
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
The X-Files (1998)
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
Firestarter (2022)
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Dances with Wolves (1990)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Batman: Gotham Knight (2008)
District 9 (2009)
Defending Your Life (1991)
Batman: Year One (2011)
Romeo + Juliet (1996)
Minority Report (2002)
Rope (1948)
The Adventures of Really Good Man (2002)
The Orson Welles Movie List
The Once and Future Orson Welles is available now! It’s the culmination of decades of work. I was fifteen when I started cobbling together a screenplay version of what would eventually become Orson Welles of Mars.
It has been ten years since I was trying to figure out what my next novel would be, and imagined not just an alternate version of what happened during The War of the Worlds incident, but an entire saga in which the biography of the man who made Citizen Kane becomes skewed via a pulpy prism. He didn’t merely conquer the martians. He faced an ancient evil at the height of the red scare. Finally, he would ensure his legacy at the hilt of King Arthur’s sword. Throw in an ongoing feud with Charlie Chaplin* for good measure.
But if you’ve never seen the films of Welles (or for that matter, the other figures who appear in the series), you’re missing out. The image of Welles in the folklore of cinema is that he was unable to ever wield his filmmaking gifts after the controversy over Kane. For my money, there are few filmmakers who shoot and edit with such a consistently unpredictable energy, even after his budgets were completely obliterated. His Macbeth (1948) is truly great—especially for it’s micro budget—and F for Fake (1973) never fails to entertain or fascinate, and it is essentially made out of scraps.
Citizen Kane (1941)
The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)
The Stranger (1946)
The Lady from Shanghai (1947)
Macbeth (1948)
Othello (1951)
Mr. Arkadin (AKA Confidental Report) (1955)
Touch of Evil (1958)
The Trial (1962)
Chimes at Midnight (1965)
The Immortal Story (1968)
F for Fake (1973)
Filming Othello (1978)
Don Quixote (1992)**
The Other Side of the Wind (2018)**
As much as his films continue to fascinate, Welles himself is a constant subject, both of narrative and documentary films. Who played him best? That would have to be Vincent D’Onofrio (dubbed over by the great Maurice LaMarche) as the “Wolfman Jack” of Ed Wood (1994) and the worst is Danny Huston trying to mumble his way through the nominally clever, but ultimately bland Fade to Black (2006).
Bonus list:
Ed Wood (1994)
The Battle Over Citizen Kane (1996)
RKO 281 (1999)
Fade to Black (2006)
Me and Orson Welles (2008)
They’ll Love Me When I’m Dead (2018)
Mank (2020)
Speaking of Wolfman Jack and Welles’ long beef with the Little Tramp, Welles’ fingerprints are all over films by other directors as well. He embraced (more out of necessity than anything else) the independent streak that came to dominate Hollywood in the late 60s and early 70s. These are just a few of the films where Welles legacy can be felt (and sometimes disputed). You may notice a few names who play a large role in the plot of The Once and Future Orson Welles. Get it now from Amazon!
Bonus Bonus list:
The Last Picture Show (1971)
Monsieur Verdoux (1947)
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
THX 1138 (1971)
American Graffiti (1973)
Easy Rider (1969)
And so, that is probably my final word on Mr. Welles. It’s a strange moment for me, to be sure. An end of an era. My memory of what life was like before the era is hazy at best. Check back in with the website to see what’s next. More podcasts. More books, and I think I may even try to write one that isn’t about Orson Welles. We’ll see how that goes.
*Both referred to each other with barely-contained exasperation in both Chaplin’s My Autobiography and Welles’ conversations with Peter Bogdanovich in This is Orson Welles.
**Released posthumously.
Movie Reviews Through 02/08/22
It’s been a while since the last list, and somehow I’m actually writing more reviews than I have in months past. I’d say I was surprised that my 500th review on the site was about a thriller where Orson Welles becomes embroiled in international intrigue, but Freud would probably say it was inevitable. Keep tuned to the site and our feeds over the next couple of days. Lots of stuff coming down the pike. In the meantime, pre-order you Kindle copy of The Once and Future Orson Welles, why don’t you?
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
French Kiss (1995)
The Matrix (1999)
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Gremlins (1984)
Citizen Kane (1941)
The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)
My Favorite Year (1982)
Mermaids (1990)
The Howling (1981)
Mank (2020)
Easy Rider (1969)
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
RKO 281 (1999)
The Lady from Shanghai (1947)
A Night at the Opera (1935)
Me and Orson Welles (2008)
The Hunt for Red October (1990)
You’ve Got Mail (1998)
Easy A (2010)
Coco (2017)
The Wolf Man (1941)
Macbeth (1948)
The Trial (1962)
The Immortal Story (1968)
Don Quixote (1992)
Ed Wood (1994)
Othello (1951)
Filming Othello (1978)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
The Last Picture Show (1971)
Chimes at Midnight (1965)
Fade to Black (2006)
Bookin’ It: 2021 In Review
I feel a bit guilty. The world lurches back and forth toward the abyss, but I’ve had a pretty good 2021. The things I have control over have panned out pretty well. After a few rounds of Moderna (you should get yours, too), I’ve been able to largely return to something resembling life in the before times (yes, I’m still wearing masks, and so should you). Omicron hovers around us all, but with any luck 2022 will (give or take a midterm election) be even better still. On average. Moment-to-moment, things are still going to be occasionally rough. Let’s be kind to each other. Although, at this point it has become abundantly clear some of you are not interested in that.
I started grad school. There have been times when I’ve felt particularly silly being in my late-thirties trying to play at being a college student again, and there have been other moments where I’ve felt like I was a fish finally returning to water after a prolonged period of gasping and flopping about on land. I managed to get all As this semester, which will mark the first time I’ve been able to pull off that feat since the 6th grade. So take that, 1996!
I published a volume of flash fiction, including an audiobook available on Audible. Check it out, if you like. I’m pretty proud of it.
Podcasts continue to grow. The Holodeck is Broken has moved on to Star Trek: The Next Generation and we’re having a pretty good time of it, even if we’re only in season 1. Dear friends Z and Eris have concluded their run on As The Myth Turns, but the show will live on forever at partyapocalypse.com. New shows will be announced very rapidly after the first of the year, including the return of something I thought I might never come back to…
No. No spoilers. Not just yet, anyway.
I’ve written 119,660 words. A goodly portion of those may never be seen by the public, but a lot those were zeroed in on one big, persistent item on the to-do list. I started the trilogy-capping The Once and Future Orson Welles six years ago, and as I type this it is almost, so very, incredibly, astonishingly (the book will have fewer adverbs, I assure you) close to being in your hands. This time I mean it. Hell, just to make good on the promise, here’s the world premiere of the cover, from Bill Fisher:
Yes, I think it’s pretty great, too. You can pre-order your Kindle edition :checks notes: right now! Here in just a few weeks, I’ll have a whole trilogy under my belt.
And finally, we come to my reading list for the year. Yes, I’m still counting audio books (a) (including books Lora has read to me), and yes, after last year, I’m still counting graphic novels (c). If those don’t count for you, then… I dunno. Good for you. I might have read more (this is just how my mind works) but I got it into my head to read every issue of The New Yorker released this year. I started reading every issue cover-to-cover, and when that turned out to be a madman’s quest, I mainly stuck to the letters-to-the-editor, fiction, comments, film, and then any other articles which struck my fancy. I wound up the year listening to more than a few Tom Clancy audiobooks… And I just hate them, so, so much. But I can’t stop listening. Even now, with a whole new year well under way, I’m about an hour into Executive Orders and… I’m just lucky I can find them on Overdrive and I’m not having to pay for them. Libraries are magic, people. If anything, that’s the big takeaway from 2021.
I’d say I’ll completely steer clear of both Clancy and The New Yorker in 2022, but I think we all know better.
1. 1602 (c)
2. Burr (a)
3. The Groucho Letters
4. Rough Beasts of Empire
5. Rose
6. Hollywood Hellraisers (a)
7. The Day of the Doctor (a)
8. The Dark Veil (a)
9. Uncanny X-Men Masterworks Vol. 1 (c)
10. Batman - Knightfall Vol. 1 (c)
11. Yes, Please (a)
12. Tales from Development Hell
13. The Seige
14. Robocop vs. Terminator (c)
15. Van Gogh - The Life (a)
16. Master and Apprentice
17. Consider This (a)
18. The Trouble With Tribbles
19. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway (a)
20. Bag Man
21. Iron Man - Season 1 (c)
22. The Amazing Spider-Man Masterworks - Vol. 1 (c)
23. Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (c)
24. Welcome to the Monkey House (a)
25. Forged in Fire
26. Who Censored Roger Rabbit?
27. Letters From A Nut
28. Uncanny X-Men Masterworks, Vol. 2 (c)
29. Batman: The Adventures Continue, Season One (c)
30. Batman '66 meets The Green Hornet (c)
31. Batman '66 meets Wonder Woman '77 (c)
32. Assignment: Earth (c)
33. The Fellowship of the Ring
34. Paths of Disharmony
35. The Struggle Within
36. The Bully Pulpit (a)
37. The view from the bridge (a)
38. The Sirens of Titan (a)
39. Superman: A Celebration of 75 years (c)
40. The Road to the Thirteenth Doctor (c)
41. Jurassic Park
42. The Best Short Stories of Mark Twain (a)
43. The Two Towers (a)
44. Slaughterhouse Five
45. Batman: Epilogue (c)
46. Batman (c)
47. Batman Returns (c)
48. Secrets of the Force (a)
49. Foundations of Library and Information Science
50. The Library Book (a)
51. The One (c)
52. Slaughterhouse Five (c)
53. The Actor's Life (a)
54. Forgotten History
55. Dark Night (c)
56. Batman: Prelude to the Wedding (c)
57. Pity the Reader (a)
58. Batman: The Wedding (c)
59. Superman: The High-Flying History of the Man of Steel (a)
60. Taking Shape (a)
61. Contact (a)
62. Star Trek Movie Memories
63. Return of the King (a)
64. Bind, Torture, Kill (a)
65. Suicide Squad: The Final Mission (c)
66. If Any Of These Stories Goes Over 1000 Words, This Entire Book Will Explode
67. Doctor Who: The Ruby's Curse (a)
68. Batgirl: A Celebration of 50 Years (c)
69. Taking Shape II (a)
70. Q-Squared
71. Star Wars Novelization
72. Mary Shelley (a)
73. Wonder Woman, Vol. 2 (c)
74. Star Trek, Vol. 1 (c)
75. Once Upon A Time in Hollywood
76. IT (a)
77. Trigger Mortis (a)
78. What We See When We Read
79. Just Mercy (a)
80. The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay (a)
81. Library: An Unquiet History
82. Rogue Elements (a)
83. My Thoughts Be Bloody (a)
84. Clear and Present Danger (a)
85. Batgirl Vol 1 (c)
86. Congo (a)
87. Plagues of Night
88. The Return of the Pharoah (a)
89. From the mixed-up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
90. Red at the Bone
91. Postmortem (a)
92. The Sum of All Fears (a)
93. Red Dragon
94. The Organization of Information
95. Debt of Honor (a)
Movie Reviews Through 12/12/21
With other projects (more on that later) dominating my time, I had put all blogging on a brief moratorium, but now I’m back with a vengeance! After this marathon session catching up with a backlog of movie reviews, a quick stop off at The Holodeck is Broken, and a end-of-year blog and I just may reach nirvana.
Movie Reviews Through 10/17/21
A big list, and it’s been a while. Started grad school, published a book and getting ready to publish another. These updates might be few and far between for a while, but the reviews will still keep coming, especially as I’m done with screening season for the festival.
Enemy Mine (1985)
Batman: The Long Halloween (Part One) (2021)
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)
Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016)
Batman vs. Two-Face (2017)
Company Business (1991)
Mary Shelley (2017)
Dracula’s Daughter (1936)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Son of Dracula (1943)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Halloween II (1981)
House of Frankenstein (1944)
House of Dracula (1945)
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1983)
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (1998)
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Halloween (2007)
Halloween II (2009)
Bond: No Time To Die (2021)
Halloween Kills (2021)
Night at the Museum (2006)
Movie Reviews Through 08/13/21
No, my review of Jurassic Park (1993) isn’t in this list, but with Delta on the rise, I do feel like we just got out of the tree, only to find ourselves back in the car again. Who knows when movie theaters will be back to normal. Not I, in any event.
While I’ll still be producing these review, I would imagine that these updates may be fewer and further between. Started a new blog for The Holodeck is Broken and I’ll be starting grad school here in a moment.
Also, we’ve got a few new books coming out in the next few months. Keep tuned to the site, and there will be plenty of fun still to be had.
Movie Reviews Through 06/27/21
Movie Reviews Through 05/24/21
Quite a bit of Superman here for you, including the stultifying bad Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987). Oh, and here’s the really good part: My 400th review on the site was for Fargo (1996), and it was my first film back in the theater post-vaccination. I can’t imagine a better movie to go back on. At least it wasn’t Superman IV: The Quest For Peace.
Ocean’s Eleven (2001)
Thomas Jefferson (1997)
Fargo (1996)
Legally Blonde (2001)
Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)
Supergirl (1984)
Superman III (1983)
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
Johnny Dangerously (1984)
The Roosevelts: An Intimate History (2014)
Superman Returns (2006)
Joe Versus The Volcano (1990)
Movie Reviews Through 04/22/21
As I write this, I’ve had my second dose of the jab for over two weeks now. It’s been over a year since I’ve been inside a theater, but now I could, theoretically go.
It leaves me with a hard choice. How? When?
I could walk away from this keyboard right now and fit in a screening of Godilla vs. Kong or Nobody right away… I’m not sure if either of them will do it for me, though, and this needs to be a special movie, as it will be a trip to the theater right up there with the first time I saw Batman Returns (1992) or Back to the Future Part III (1990). I could pay 100-ish bucks to make one of the big chains play some movie for me, and that feels… off, somehow. Maybe it’s because in each of those scenarios, I’m watching a movie I could very easily watch at home.
If only I could find some truly great movie I’ve never seen (or at least, never reviewed here on the site) on the big screen and make that my first trip. That would be the ticket. Twenty-fifth anniversary screenings of Fargo (1996) are coming up weekend after next. That just might be the ticket.
At any rate, I hope to see my friend again. I hope to sit in its chairs and eat popcorn in the dark. I hope to see a film the way it was intended to be viewed again.
I hope.
I know. Wrong movie.
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)
True Lies (1994)
The Mummy (1999)
Babylon 5: The River of Souls (1998)
Independence Day (1996)
Babylon 5: A Call to Arms (1999)
Hemingway (2021)
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Chasing Liberty (2004)
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
North by Northwest (1959)
Misery (1990)
Memento (2000)
Movie Reviews Through 03/20/21
I was going to write a review of Zack Synder’s Justice League. Honestly I was. But there is nothing in that four hour movie that you can’t glean from just hearing about the parameters of its existence. Love-of-my-life Lora, however, had a lot of thoughts on the subject, so for the first time in two and a half years, I’ve a got a guest reviewer.
Movie Reviews Through 02/14/21
Like some kind of chump, I started my re-watch of the Babylon 5 a few months ago. I’m nearly done now, and HBOMax decides to start running remastered versions of the show. One can only wonder if the special effects work better now, and I’ve only got two of the TV Movies and the back half of Season 5 (the wheel spinning of fire, if you ask me, don’t @ me) to find out.
This is all to say that now more than any other time is a good one to start your own re-watch of Babylon 5. All of the more dramatic political machinations of that universe seem oddly quaint to the stormy present.
Speaking of HBOMax… There’s a better than even chance that by the time I do another one of these updates, I will have endured Zack Synder’s Justice League. I’m relatively sure it won’t be any better than the theatrical cut. I’m not even terribly sure I want to watch it. But it’s there, and it’s inevitable, and I should just start preparing myself now.
Oh, one more HBOMax note: I kinda liked Wonder Woman (1984) more than most people. Shrug. What can you do?
Babylon 5: The Gathering (1993)
Psycho (1960)
Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)
Bond: Spectre (2015)
Babylon 5: In The Beginning (1998)
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Babylon 5: Thirdspace (1998)
Selma (2014)
Lincoln (2012)
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Total Recall (1990)
Batman: Death in the Family (2020)
Tenet (2020)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
Why? What Else Happened This Year? - Thoughts on 2020
With The Fourth Wall coming to an “end”* in 2019, I needed to look for the next big thing to conquer. I dropped some things that weren’t working anymore, and took on some new things. I wrote—by my own estimation—191,810 words this year, a new record, even if some of those words aren’t ever intended for public consumption. You’ll be reading some of them soon. Honestly, there’s a better than even chance that The Once and Future Orson Welles might even see the light of day in 2021.
I lost 66 pounds, and am therefore, always hungry. It’s helped that for some reason, I haven’t been able to go to a movie theater and lose myself in a bucket of popcorn since February.
I’ve also found that next big thing. Shortly before the end of the year I applied for Grad School. Real talk, despite all the things I’ve done here on the site over the last several years, there have been far too many times I’ve felt like I’ve been hiding out in a day job that has always been the occupational equivalent of a blind date that has now lasted for over a decade. Time to end all of that.
Is it possible 2020 has been the best, most productive year of my life? :checks notes: That can’t be right...
Started a new podcast with Lora and friends Eris and Z. We’re rewatching all of the various Star Treks from the very beginning. There are plenty of good reasons to not podcast, and only a few good reasons to podcast. Among the latter, the fact that it’s been a lot of fun is one of the better reasons. That being said, leave it to me to start a Star Trek rewatch podcast in the year we get the most new Star Trek since the 1990s. Don’t tell my fellow podcasters, but The Holodeck is Broken is actually further away from the end of Star Trek than we were when we recorded our first episode about a year ago. Something about this year had the feeling of being on a treadmill, although I can’t quite put my finger on why...
On that note, my only political thought for the year (that I’m going to share) is this: I’m thinking I’m going to have to join the Republican Party indefinitely. Many of us are wondering/promising what we can do to prevent all of :gestures wildly: this never happens again. I’ll still vote the way I like in general elections, but I’ve always been able to live with whoever the Democratic Party nominates, and the Republican Party has long since showed us that it can’t make decisions for itself anymore. So, welcome me, Republicans. You’re going to love me. Hope you like typewriters, pinball, and an unhealthy fixation on the films of Michael Keaton. We’re going to get along great.
And so we all head to 2021. I have no predictions for the year, as those who reign from Olympus have made it very clear how they feel about our collective hubris.
Why? What else happened this year?
P.S. Here is my reading list for the year. I went a little light on myself this year, and decided to count graphic novels in the count. It definitely helped me reach my goal of 66 books this year, and I only managed to feel a little bit guilty about it, as I definitely had a more thorough literary experience with From Hell than I did with “real” books like the novelizations of Batman Forever or Ghostbusters II, which I read this summer for reasons which have since become murky to me. I probably read more Star Trek books than I should/would have normally, but something about this year needed a little more escapism than most. More than my usual load of screenplays, too... But I finally found time (again, no idea why) to get through that Aaron Sorkin masterclass I bought a lifetime ago, and the workbook associated with it recommended a lot screenplay reading. Graphic novels are denoted with a (c), while, as usual, audiobooks are noted with an (a).
1. Doctor Strange Masterworks, Volume 1 (c)
2. Star Wars: The Annotated Screenplays
3. Benjamin Franklin (a)
4. Darth Vader, Vol. 1 (c)
5. DC New Frontier, Vol. 1 (c)
6. Star Trek Picard - Countdown (c)
7. The Adventure of the Peculiar Protocols (a)
8. DC New Frontier, Vol. 2 (c)
9. Khan: Ruling In Hell (c)
10. Millennium Falcon (a)
11. The Last Best Hope (a)
12. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
13. Zen In the Art of Writing (a)
14. Batgirl: Year One (c)
15. Loyalties
16. Nobody Does It Better (a)
17. The Office (a)
18. The Fifty Year Mission: The First Twenty-Five Years (a)
19. The Sky's The Limit
20. Cruel Shoes
21. Worf's First Adventure
22. Process (a)
23. Doc Savage: Man of Bronze
24. Pure Drivel
25. Doomsday Clock Vol. 1 (c)
26. The Q Conflict (c)
27. The Big Goodbye (a)
28. Get Thee Back to the Future
29. Catalyst of Sorrows
30. Batman Forever
31. Casino Royale
32. The Tower of the Elephant
33. The Fifty Year Mission: The Next Twenty-Five Years (a)
34. Galaxy Quest - The Journey Continues (c)
35. Batman: Knightfall: Knightquest (c)
36. Forever and a Day (a)
37. The Rocketeer - The Complete Adventures (c)
38. From Hell (c)
39. Watching the Clock
40. Rogues in the House
41. Masks (c)
42. Fletch and the Widow Bradley
43. The Fall of Terok Nor
44. iWoz (a)
45. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 1 (c)
46. Darth Vader, Vol. 3: The Shu-Torun War (c)
47. Doc Savage: His Apocalyptic Life
48. Shadows in the Moonlight
49. Ghostbusters II
50. The Martian Chronicles (a)
51. Zero Sum Game
52. Dead Endless (a)
53. The Royal Tenenbaums - Screenplay
54. Cast No Shadow
55. Poetics
56. Black Colossus
57. The Dark Knight Trilogy Scriptbook
58. Fletch's Moxie
59. Walter Ralegh: Architect of Empire (a)
60. Wet Hot American Summer Annotated Screenplay
61. Batman: Dark Victory (c)
62. My Dinner With André - Screenplay
63. Die Standing (a)
64. Rodham
65. Queen of the Black Coast
66. The War of the Prophets
67. So We Read On (a)
68. Bossypants (a)
69. The Witches
70. The Bassoon King (a)
71. A Magnificent Catastrophe
72. Becoming Superman (a)
73. Slayers and Vampires (a)
74. The Rocketeer at War (c)
75. City on the Edge of Forever
76. City on the Edge of Forever (c)
77. Seize the Fire
78. A Promised Land (a)
*No, I’m not going to explain the quotes there, but I might one day.
Movie Reviews Through 12/13/20
I might break down this list a bit further, but there’s really only one thing I could add to this that wouldn’t be covered in the reviews themselves.
Unbreakable is twenty years old.
Oy.
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Unbreakable (2000)
Demons (1985)
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
The Warriors (1979)
Contact (1997)
City Lights (1931)
Cinema Paradiso (1988)
Gosford Park (2001)
Logan (2017)
Manhunter (1986)
The Godfather: Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone (2020)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Movie Reviews Through 11/09/20
A long list, with a little something for everyone…
But what I really came here to say was this:
You can all unclench now.
I’ll have more on that later, probably with my annual end-of-year blog post.
Anyway, heres Wonderwall…
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
Mission: Impossible II (2006)
Salem’s Lot (2004)
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
Diner (1982)
The Ward (2010)
Jackie Brown (1997)
Death Proof (2007)
Casablanca (1942)
Birdman or (the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)
Say Anything… (1989)
Mr. Holmes (2015)
Hocus Pocus (1993)
Get Carter (1971)
Limelight (1952)
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (2020)
Fahrenheit 11/9 (2018)
Heat (1995)
The Witches (2020)
The Stepford Wives (1975)
The Legend of Zorro (2005)
Dunkirk (2017)