Director: Clive Barker
Cast: Ashley Laurence, Andrew Robinson, Clare Higgins, Doug Bradley
Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure.
Did I Like It: I can’t help but feel as if I was *way* to kind to Child’s Play (1988) chiefly because of it’s limited run time, but a similar sense of brevity means that this series never really takes off for me, even in those moments when we all kind collectively decided the adventures of Pinhead (Bradley) and company were even worth watching. This film feels like it drags far more than it has any right to for long stretches in the middle. Every time the film cuts away to a rat that only has a tangential relationship to any cenobite or puzzle box, I can’t help but wonder if—for all of the mystique surrounding him—Clive Barker hasn’t spent much of his career stalling for time.
That feels like a minor complaint, especially when I can easily see the better film under the surface of an under-edited film (I don’t know why Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) is the only one that comes to mind, but it does). The real problem, especially when compared to Child’s Play, is that everything is so deathly serious. It’s all by design (and a case can be made for it being over-designed), but has anyone, ever, had any fun watching one of these movies? Tastes may be subjective but if Hellraiser’s mood is your thing, there’s no way you’ve avoided watching it after all of these years.
What’s more, while there is undoubtedly a mood and aesthetic at play here, there’s nothing terribly frightening about the proceedings. It’s difficult to not be a little unsettled by the shadows on Halloween; they might just be Michael Myers. The only way Andy Barclay’s childhood could have been any sadder was if he never played with toys. Good luck avoiding Freddy Krueger and not feeling miserable for the rest of your short little life. But avoiding a strange puzzle box when I’m sad, lonely, and otherwise anticipatory? Yeah. I think I can avoid that.